The Christmas Project

I've never made a Christmas gift before.  Well, that's not entirely true.  I've never made a Christmas gift that wasn't a class project to honor our parents.

So I've not made a gift before out of my own free will, but this Christmas I decided to do just that.

As with most ideas, this project ended up looking nothing like I had originally envisioned.  My original concept was to redo a dresser and have each drawer feature a verse from the hymn "His Eye Is On The Sparrow".  The sides of the dresser would have featured three sparrows resting on a vine.  A beautiful concept that didn't pan out.  Sometimes going smaller isn't a bad thing.

So began the hunt to find a good piece of wood to begin with (I'd actually end up needing two after cracking the first one, though the cut on the second ended up being much better).  Next I attempted to find a painter since I am not one and learning how to paint in a matter of weeks would not have worked.

This is where the project took a turn.  A friend of a friend suggested a painter and then asked if I'd considered doing a decoupage.  As soon as that word was uttered the bells began to ring in my head.  I only knew what a decoupage was because of the person that this was made for.  Perfect.

A new search began, scouring antique shops for bird books and hymnals in somewhat bad shape that I wouldn't feel bad about cutting up.  Alas, nada.  So I turned to the last option - the internet and FedEx Office (formerly Kinko's).

The problem with anything new is that it is new and I wanted something that looked somewhat aged.  I would have to correct that problem and I had plenty of advice and help along the way. 

This project was fun and special because of who it was for but also because of how friends, families, and complete strangers that I told about it helped with suggestions along the way.  It wasn't created in a vacuum and it was such a joy to discover what it would end up being.  Thank you to anyone that reads this and helped for that help.  As I laid it out for gluing, I knew that everything was as it should be - and all that advice given is what got me there.  It's a reminder about how blessed we are to have other people in our lives, even for brief instants.

To get that aged look, I needed to tea stain the cardstock the images were printed on.  Everything was sourced online with size adjustment needed for the sparrows and the hymn.  One of the handy traits of using a Windows machine (sorry Mac users, Apple took away this option from you) is that you can print two pages to one sheet.  This was particularly helpful in creating a hymnal size pages for the hymn.  Due to the nature of color copying, the birds had to be printed on a form of white cardstock, so covering the images after tearing required two treatments.  The white color would not have worked as well with a blotchy finish as the antique gray color did for the hymn.

I used Mod Podge Matte finish to glue down the images and text, put three coats of it on top, and used MinWax Polycrylic to coat the top, bottom, and sides (two coats).  Regular old tea was used for aging the paper.  Pinking shears were used to cut out the refrain and give the front three different cuts.  The hymn was trimmed to look as if it came out of a hymnal.  The sparrows were torn off the cardstock for effect.  The verses, as stated, were given a pinking treatment.

Here are photos of some of the things I used and the finished piece.
 

A good brush is essential.  This is one with synthetic bristles designed specifically for water-based substances.

Plain old tea.  Dabbing is the best way to get a good effect.  Rubbing will give you an aged and worn effect.  Bludgeoning will give you more of a parchment effect due to the tea leaves being beaten into the cardstock.

Pine cut from Michaels.

Detail of the bare wood before any finish.

The pinking shears are an appropriate color.

We do all have something to sing about, but we have to choose to do so.  Yet life is so much better when we choose to sing and be happy, no matter the circumstance.

Sparrows on cardstock before tearing.

After tearing.

This was after aging the text.  It was the same gray color as the hymn page.

This is how it looks now that everything is done.

Blow Away The Lies That Leave You Nothing But Lost and Brokenhearted

One of my favorite purchases of the past few years is Bruce Springsteen's re-release of his 1978 album, Darkness On The Edge Of Town.  While he's had other albums that have received more attention and accolades, this one resonates with me the most.  The "special edition" of this one truly is special, featuring a reproduction of the notebook he used to write out lyrics, chords, etc and sequence the album with.  It's enlightening because it allows you to take a glimpse into the artist's mind to see how he created his piece.  In addition, there are two extra discs of unreleased music (entitled The Promise) that are excellent, a documentary on the making of the album, a live performance by the E Street Band of the whole album (done when they were all older men in 2009), and a vintage concert from the late 70s.

In short, a dream for a big fan of Springsteen and of the album.

But why does this album resonate to me?  Why have I come to be such a fan of Springsteen?  So much of it rests in what is found on this album and throughout his work - an honesty that permeates his writings and music, characters that are real, and a cinematic scope.  All of that existed in his first big break, Born To Run.  When I first heard Thunder Road my jaw dropped not just because of the beauty of the music, but because of the beauty of the words:

"The screen door slams
Mary's dress waves
Like a vision she dances across the porch
As the radio plays
Roy Orbison singing for the lonely
Hey that's me and I want you only
Don't turn me home again
I just can't face myself alone again
Don't run back inside
darling you know just what I'm here for
So you're scared and you're thinking
That maybe we ain't that young anymore
Show a little faith, there's magic in the night
You ain't a beauty, but hey you're alright
Oh and that's alright with me"

And so it goes as we begin an optimistic journey into a world full of hope and dreams.

But Darkness On The Edge Of Town, the next album, would not be so bright and cheery.  Springsteen went through a legal battle in between and his view of the world changed.  The optimism gave way to reality as he went through a bitter divorce with the manager that helped discover him.  He was unable to record for three years due to the troubles and had to fight to keep his music.  Yet Darkness is not a cynical album.  There's no giving up, just the reality that we often don't attain our dreams, at least not as we envision them.

There's original sin here ("Adam Raised A Cain"), some despair ("Something In The Night", "Racing In The Street"), and many fine lines drawn.  But the singer continually insists that when you get knocked down you stand back up, dust yourself off, and keep on fighting.

From Badlands:

"Talk about a dream
Try to make it real
You wake up in the night
With a fear so real
Spend your life waiting
For a moment that just don't come
Well, don't waste your time waiting

Badlands, you gotta live it everyday
Let the broken hearts stand
As the price you've gotta pay
We'll keep pushin' till it's understood
And these badlands start treating us good" 

As we journey through the album we do find characters that have given up.  In one case ("Racing In The Street"), the singer keeps fighting, racing every day after getting home from work while his girl sits on the porch with "her pretty dreams torn", but he has not given up on her.  He resolves at the end: "Tonight my baby and me we're gonna ride to the sea - And wash these sins off our hands" as he tries to bring her back from her depression.  

"Some guys they just give up living
And start dying little by little, piece by piece
Some guys come home from work and wash up
And go racin' in the street"

It is in the finale, the track that the album is titled after, where the line is drawn.  The relationship has ended, but the singer can't give up the fight.  He realizes there's a darkness on the edge of town where people live in denial and unhappiness, silently succumbing to the ills of the world while trying to hide this fact:

"Everybody's got a secret Sonny
Something that they just can't face
Some folks spend their whole lives trying to keep it
They carry it with them every step that they take
Till some day they just cut it loose
Cut it loose or let it drag 'em down
Where no one asks any questions
Or looks too long in your face
In the darkness on the edge of town" 

That is a powerful lyric to me, made more powerful in the context of the music, the album, and the career of Springsteen.  There are a lot of uncomfortable truths in his work, but this comes from an artist who can examine himself and others around him.  It's there in his work up until the modern day.  Back in 1978, Springsteen outlined how secrets can bury us.  In the title track from his 2005 album, Devils & Dust, he also looks at fear and hits it dead on:

"I got God on my side
I'm just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love?
Fear's a powerful thing
It can turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God filled soul
And fill it with devils and dust"

Springsteen's work has its share of fun and truth.  I find him incredible to listen to because he covers the full gamut of emotions while also showing broad musical range, but Darkness On The Edge Of Town is the one record of his that truly brings it all home in my mind.  He's had many other great records, but this one hits me the hardest.

Symbolically

Searching for the answers of your everyday

Looking for a hope to light your way

A dream, maybe, as a guiding light

A color of the rainbow

Flashes of life longing to be seen

As they wander through the night

A thrill of hope to touch your soul

That has been a dark inescapable hole

A tear, it seems, has been shed for you

A light shining in the darkness

Flashes of life longing to be seen

Your soul transparent, it shines through

Symbolically, what does it mean?

Is a tree ever just a tree?

Is an action ever what it seems?

Is this life but a dream?

All the colours melt into one

Absorbing what they can from the light of the sun

A light that shines upon this darkened place

Once unable to pierce

Flashes of life longing to be seen

Words are granted to state your case

Symbolically, what does it mean?

Is a tree ever just a tree?

Is an action ever what it seems?

Is this life but a dream?

A voice calls you on into this wilderness

Your feet bludgeoned by the rocks

Your soul calls out its hopelessness

Falling ever farther into the night

Falling into the darkness…

A hand is extended, a story is told

As the words are spoken the truth unfolds

A star will shine upon your darkened face

Listening as you state your case

Flashes of life are seen

Enfolded in a state of grace

Symbolically, what does it mean?

Is a tree ever just a tree?

Is an action ever what it seems?

Is this life but a dream?

Because that is what it seems to me